Somethings personal

I thought that for a change, I would write something about human instincts, rather than about the nature of things. Here is a poem that I wrote many years back.

The First Need

- a poem by Brijnandan Singh Dehiya
(Copyrighted composition 2009)

In winter, I prayed for the spring,
In spring, I wished to find love
In love, I sought power over time,
Endless youth, a summer wind above
In summer, I tried to forget,
the pains and wounds of the past
The sun's heat, and the warmth of love,
Perhaps it was too good to last

The lights grew dimmer, silences longer,
when autumn descended like despair
The moon looked sad and hopeless,
starlights let down the longing stare
Where was that glorious life I wanted,
what became of my hope, my dream?
It lived still in pockets of my heart,
in each heartbeat, I felt it scream

I prayed to my Goddess in heaven,
"Change my fortunes, O great mistress!"
Her voice came down from the skies,
"But you are far from being in distress!
'My most precious gift is not life,
it is the company of ones you share it with."
I heard her words, but my heart
in defiance, kept searching for a life blithe

Ignored, my love left my life,
Wintry darkness entered my spirit
I became comfortable with gloom, and
even my feeble shadow drowned in it
My heart wanted to stop beating,
my eyes wanted to sleep forever
Mists of despair cloaked around me,
everywhere around, darkness seemed to hover

Wandering empty alleys at night,
my shivering mind began to roam
Two bright eyes and painful moans,
There was a small pup without a home
"Why not?", I said to myself,
as I sat down to pat the dog
That cold and fragile pup whimpered,
alone in a world of dark and fog

But I doubted that it knew,
the many perils that its life faced
And as it licked my hands,
my eyes moistened and heart raced
I looked into its soulful eyes,
and I felt my own soul probed
"What can I do for you?", I asked
and as if in reply, its eyes glowed

With both hands I cupped its face,
I saw trust pouring from its eyes
As it filled a void inside me, I felt,
a moment of rebirth, when despair dies
The intense and ethereal sensations,
when one's heart begins to thaw
They are like a soothing balm on wounds,
old and new, that are still raw

Tenderly, I picked up the pup,
and carried it away in my arms
I could feel its faint heartbeat,
through the wet fur on my palms
In my hand, I then realized
lay the answer to my old prayers
The first need of any life,
is to know that someone cares

I kissed the dog, and I knew,
the kind of bond that a mother grew
for the faint life in her womb, and
the trust that flowed with the blood it drew
I knew why a friendly hug
or the warm caress of a lover's hand
nourishes the body and cures the soul
like no food and no medicine can

I raised my eyes to the skies,
and sang aloud a song of calm joy
With closed eyes I thanked the Goddess,
with a laugh, a sigh and a surprised cry
Her voice came again, pleased and soft,
"Life is short, don't forget to love.
Give your trust with open hands,
and life shall fit you like a glove."

The fog lifted, the clouds were gone,
the cold darkness still lingered on
The fading stars foretold of a new dawn
and in that night, my dreams were reborn